You may freeze or reach for the first thing that comes to mind when someone says “sorry.” That happens because apologies can bring up surprise, old hurt, relief, or uncertainty about what comes next. You’re balancing honesty, relationships, and your own feelings all at once.

Simple wording helps because it reduces the pressure to deliver the perfect response. Short, clear phrases keep the focus on the interaction rather than on performance. This article gives practical examples of what to say when someone says sorry, plus guidance on what to avoid and how to handle the moment with care.

Why This Moment Matters

An apology is both an emotional and a social signal. Emotionally, it can acknowledge harm, show remorse, and invite repair. Socially, it tests trust, role expectations, and boundaries. How you respond shapes whether the interaction moves toward reconciliation, learning, or a clearer boundary.

Your reaction can either validate the other person’s effort to make amends or highlight unresolved needs. Responding thoughtfully helps you protect your wellbeing while communicating what you need next. Simple, honest language reduces misinterpretation and helps both people move forward.

Useful Things to Say

Simple Responses

“Thank you for saying that.”
A brief acknowledgment that recognizes the apology without having to resolve everything in that moment.

“I hear you.”
Confirms you received their message and keeps the exchange calm and clear.

“Okay.”
A neutral, concise response that signals you’ve listened without committing to forgiveness yet.

“I appreciate that.”
Shows you notice the effort behind the apology without minimizing your own experience.

Supportive Responses

“I’m glad you said that.”
Encourages accountability and signals that you value honesty in the relationship.

“Let’s talk about what happened when you’re ready.”
Offers a practical next step that moves the conversation from apology to resolution.

“I accept your apology, and I’d like to work on this together.”
Combines acceptance with a forward-looking plan to prevent repetition.

“Would you be open to making a plan so it doesn’t happen again?”
Shifts the interaction to constructive problem-solving and mutual responsibility.

Empathetic Responses

“That must have been hard to admit—thank you.”
Recognizes the vulnerability involved in apologizing and models empathy.

“I can see you regret it; I’m still processing.”
Validates their feeling while giving yourself space to process your own reaction.

“I felt hurt by that, and I appreciate you acknowledging it.”
Names your emotion plainly and links it to the apology in a way that invites repair.

“I know you didn’t do this intentionally; I’m trying to understand.”
Balances empathy with honesty, helping both of you explore context without excusing harm.

Light, Warm Responses

“That means a lot.”
A gentle way to show the apology landed positively without rushing forgiveness.

“Thanks—you’re forgiven.”
A warm closure when you genuinely feel ready to move on, offered without pressure.

“Let’s put this behind us and have a fresh start.”
Conveys a hopeful tone suitable for less serious conflicts where both parties want to move forward.

“I appreciate you stepping up—let’s get coffee and reset.”
Combines warmth with a tangible, low-stakes way to rebuild connection.

What Not to Say

Avoid minimizing the apology, such as “It’s fine,” if you’re still upset, because it signals dismissal.
Don’t deflect with “Sorry too” immediately, as that can erase the other person’s accountability.
Avoid bringing up unrelated past grievances, which can derail repair efforts.
Don’t respond with sarcasm or jokes, because they can invalidate the sincerity of the moment.
Avoid saying “You always/never…” since absolutes escalate conflict and close off constructive dialogue.
Don’t demand immediate perfection or change, because it’s unrealistic and can shut down honest attempts at repair.

Helpful Tips for Handling the Moment

Be mindful of your tone: keep it calm and measured so the apology is heard rather than felt as an attack.
Pay attention to timing: if you need space, say so and set a clear time to revisit the conversation.
Listen actively: let the person finish, ask clarifying questions, and reflect back what you heard.
Use open body language: maintain eye contact and a relaxed posture to encourage sincere communication.
Set boundaries kindly: if you’re not ready to forgive, state what you need to move forward clearly.
Prefer short, honest statements when emotions are high; save longer discussions for when you’re both calmer.
Remember cultural differences: apologies and responses vary by background, so be attentive to context.
Follow up with actions: words are meaningful, but consistent behavior over time confirms the apology’s intent.

Final Thought

You don’t need the perfect phrase when someone says sorry—sincerity and clarity matter more. Choosing simple, honest words helps protect your feelings while giving the relationship a practical way forward. Trust your instincts, speak plainly, and let the interaction guide the next step.

Let us know in the comments if this has helped or if you’ve got suggestions we can include

About the Author

Helen Bach is a relationship expert and writer who helps people find the right words when it matters most. She studied English and English Literature at the University of Michigan, where she developed a passion for how language shapes love, conflict, and connection.

At whattosaywhen.net, Helen writes clear, down-to-earth advice on what to say in real-life situations—from first dates and tough conversations to breakups and makeups. Her goal is simple: to make talking about feelings less awkward and a lot more honest.