Making amends can feel awkward because it asks you to face a mistake and open the door to someone who might still be hurt. You worry about saying the wrong thing, making things worse, or being rejected.

Simple wording helps because it reduces the chance of defensiveness and keeps the focus on repair instead of justification. Clear, honest phrases make it easier for the other person to hear you and for you to follow through.

This article gives practical, ready-to-use things to say when you want to make amends, what to avoid, and tips for handling the moment with care.

Why This Moment Matters

When you make amends, you’re doing more than apologizing; you’re attempting to restore trust and show respect. The person you hurt may be assessing your sincerity, looking for accountability rather than excuses.

Emotions can be raw and unpredictable, so how you speak and listen matters as much as the words you choose. A straightforward, respectful approach reduces confusion and sets a clear path for repair.

Making amends also affects your own integrity. Taking responsibility and following through helps you learn and prevents repeated harm.

Useful Things to Say

Simple Responses

• I’m sorry.
  A short, direct apology that names remorse without qualifications makes it clear you recognize harm.
• I was wrong.
  Admitting error plainly avoids sidestepping responsibility and shows humility.
• That was my mistake.
  Acknowledging the action as yours prevents the other person from feeling blamed or defensive.
• I take responsibility.
  This signals you understand the impact and are willing to own the consequences.

Supportive Responses

• What can I do to make this right?
  Inviting their input shows you’re focused on repair rather than just easing your own discomfort.
• I will do X to fix this.
  Offering a concrete action (refund, correction, changed behavior) demonstrates commitment.
• If you need space, I understand and I will respect that.
  A practical recognition of boundaries shows sensitivity to their needs.
• I’m available to help with next steps if you’d like.
  Offering assistance moves the conversation from words to supportive actions.

Empathetic Responses

• I can see how that hurt you.
  Naming the likely emotional effect validates their experience and shows you’ve tried to understand.
• You didn’t deserve that.
  This acknowledges the injustice of what happened and centers their feelings.
• I regret the pain I caused.
  Expressing regret focuses on the person harmed rather than on your own discomfort.
• Thank you for telling me how you felt.
  Recognizing their courage in speaking up encourages honest communication and reinforces trust.

Light, Warm Responses

• I value our relationship and I’m sorry for hurting it.
  A gentle statement of care can soften the moment while still being sincere.
• I care about you and want to do better.
  Combining warmth and a plan for change reassures the person that their feelings matter.
• I appreciate your patience as I learn from this.
  This expresses gratitude without asking them to forgive immediately.
• If you want to talk later, I’m here.
  Offering presence in a low-pressure way lets them choose the timing of further conversation.

What Not to Say

• Avoid saying “I’m sorry if you were hurt,” because it implies doubt about the harm and shifts blame.
• Don’t follow an apology with “but…” as that immediately qualifies and weakens your responsibility.
• Steer clear of lengthy explanations or justifications that come off as excuses.
• Don’t demand forgiveness or rush the other person to move on before they’re ready.
• Avoid bringing up their past mistakes to minimize your responsibility.
• Don’t promise change without a realistic plan to follow through.

Helpful Tips for Handling the Moment

• Tone: Keep your voice calm and steady; sincerity matters more than eloquence.
• Timing: Choose a private time and avoid making amends in public or during a heated moment.
• Listening: Allow silence and give the other person space to speak without interrupting.
• Body language: Use open posture, maintain appropriate eye contact, and avoid crossed arms.
• Boundaries: Respect their wishes if they need distance, and don’t pressure for a response.
• Specificity: Be clear about what you’re apologizing for and what you’ll change.
• Follow-through: Write down or set reminders for the actions you promise so you stay accountable.
• Keep it brief: Long-winded apologies can feel like self-defense; prioritize clarity and action.

Final Thought

You don’t need perfect words to make amends—honesty, clarity, and follow-through matter most. Speak plainly, listen fully, and let your actions confirm your words. The willingness to repair shows respect for both the other person and yourself.

Let us know in the comments if this has helped or if you’ve got suggestions we can include

About the Author 

Helen Bach is a relationship expert and writer who helps people find the right words when it matters most. She studied English and English Literature at the University of Michigan, where she developed a passion for how language shapes love, conflict, and connection.

At whattosaywhen.net, Helen writes clear, down-to-earth advice on what to say in real-life situations—from first dates and tough conversations to breakups and makeups. Her goal is simple: to make talking about feelings less awkward and a lot more honest.