Messaging a girl you like can feel stressful. You may worry about saying the wrong thing. Or sounding awkward. This is normal.

You do not need a perfect message. You just need to sound kind, calm, and real. This guide gives simple examples you can use and explains why they work.

Why This Feels Hard

When you like someone, you care about their reaction.

Text messages do not show tone or body language.

That makes people overthink.

Short and honest messages work best.

They feel natural and easy to reply to.

Before You Send a Message

Take a second to think about:

• How you know her
• If this is your first message
• What feels respectful in this situation

If you are unsure, keep it simple.

What to Say in a First Message

A first message should be light and friendly.

It should not be intense or too personal.

Examples:

• “Hey, how’s your day going?”
• “Hi, I liked your photo from the beach.”
• “Hey, I saw you like hiking. What’s your favorite trail?”
• “Hi, it’s nice to finally message you.”

These work because they are:

• Polite
• Easy to answer
• Not too serious

What to Say If You Know Her a Little

If you have talked before, you can be more relaxed.

Examples:

• “Hey, how did your test go?”
• “I was thinking about what you said yesterday.”
• “That movie you mentioned was really good.”
• “How was your weekend?”

This shows interest without pressure.

What to Say If She Replies Short

Sometimes replies are brief.

That does not always mean she is not interested.

You can gently keep the conversation going.

Examples:

• “Yeah, that makes sense. What do you like most about it?”
• “Haha, fair enough. What are you up to today?”
• “Got it. Want to tell me more?”

If replies stay short, give space.

What to Say to Show Interest (Without Being Too Much)

You can show interest in a calm way.

Examples:

• “I like talking with you.”
• “You seem really easy to talk to.”
• “I enjoy our chats.”
• “You have a great sense of humor.”

Say it once.

Do not repeat it.

What to Avoid Saying

Some messages can feel uncomfortable fast.

Avoid:

• Compliments about her body right away
• Messages that sound angry or jealous
• Very long paragraphs
• Repeated messages with no reply
• Lines copied from the internet

If it feels forced, skip it.

If You Are Not Sure What to Say

When in doubt:

• Ask a simple question
• Comment on something you both know
• Keep the message short

Silence is better than a rushed message.

A Simple Rule to Remember

Talk to her like a real person.

Not like you are trying to impress her.

Kind. Calm. Respectful.

That is enough.

Let us know in the comments if this has helped or if you’ve got suggestions we can include

About the Author

Helen Bach is a relationship expert and writer who helps people find the right words when it matters most. She studied English and English Literature at the University of Michigan, where she developed a passion for how language shapes love, conflict, and connection.

At whattosaywhen.net, Helen writes clear, down-to-earth advice on what to say in real-life situations—from first dates and tough conversations to breakups and makeups. Her goal is simple: to make talking about feelings less awkward and a lot more honest.