People often freeze when someone asks, ‘what are you doing?’ — it can feel like a casual check-in, an interruption, or an invitation to overshare. When the moment is small but the stakes feel big (privacy, time, relationship cues), having a few steady, polite responses makes the interaction smoother. This guide offers short lines, warmer replies, and practical advice for handling “what to say when someone asks what you’re doing.”

Why This Moment Matters

That simple question can reveal expectations about availability, closeness, or urgency. How you answer signals boundaries, willingness to engage, and respect for your own time. A clear, calm response prevents miscommunication and keeps relationships comfortable—whether the asker is a partner, colleague, friend, or stranger. The tone you choose also sets the scene for the rest of the exchange.

Short, Simple Things You Can Say

• ‘In the middle of something—can I get back to you in 10 minutes?’
• ‘Making dinner—what do you need?’
• ‘Working on a quick task right now.’
• ‘Just taking a short break.’
• ‘Out running an errand—can we talk later?’
• ‘Not much, you?’
• ‘Busy at the moment—tell me if it’s urgent.’

Longer Messages With More Warmth

• ‘I’m finishing a work thing but I’d love to hear about it—can I call you in half an hour so I can give you my full attention?’
• ‘I’m prepping dinner and cleaning up. If this can wait, I’ll check in after I’m done; if it’s urgent, tell me now.’
• ‘Taking a little time to rest and recharge. I want to be present for you, so can we catch up this evening?’
• ‘I’m tied up with a deadline but I care—send me a quick note about what you need and I’ll respond as soon as I can.’
• ‘I’m on a walk and enjoying some fresh air. If you want company or to talk, I can stop and listen for a few minutes.’

What to Avoid Saying

• ‘None of your business’ — it’s blunt and can harm relationships unless boundaries are intentionally being set.
• Giving a long, unnecessary play-by-play of private or irrelevant details.
• Automatically apologizing for being busy when you have a right to your time.
• Lying habitually about availability (it complicates trust).
• Responding sarcastically or dismissively if the asker is genuinely worried or needs help.

Helpful Tips for Handling the Moment

• Match your reply to the relationship and context: friendlier with close people, clearer with colleagues or strangers.
• Use brief availability windows (“10 minutes,” “after the meeting”) so people know when you’ll be free.
• If you want to keep things private, offer a short deflecting answer plus a way to reconnect: “Can’t talk now, can we do later?”
• For text messages, quick reactions (emoji, “later?”) can acknowledge the asker without derailing your flow.
• If safety or urgency is possible, prioritize a direct check: “Is everything okay?” before resuming your activities.
• Practice a few go-to lines so you don’t feel put on the spot.

A Note About This Particular Situation

How you answer depends heavily on who’s asking and why—partners and close friends often expect more openness than a coworker or casual acquaintance. Also consider the medium: a late-night text may carry different weight than an in-person knock at the door. Respect your boundaries while being kind; you can protect your time without creating distance that you don’t intend.

Let us know in the comments if this has helped or if you’ve got suggestions we can include

About the Author 

Helen Bach is a relationship expert and writer who helps people find the right words when it matters most. She studied English and English Literature at the University of Michigan, where she developed a passion for how language shapes love, conflict, and connection.

At whattosaywhen.net, Helen writes clear, down-to-earth advice on what to say in real-life situations—from first dates and tough conversations to breakups and makeups. Her goal is simple: to make talking about feelings less awkward and a lot more honest.