People freeze because being told “I don’t like you” lands as both personal and social information — it can sting, confuse, or catch you off guard. When someone says they don’t like you, the goal isn’t to win them over in that moment but to respond in a way that protects your dignity and keeps the situation from escalating. These short, steady phrases and options can help you stay calm and act in your best interest.

Why This Moment Matters

Hearing “I don’t like you” is a clear interpersonal signal: it changes how you relate to that person and can shift the tone of future interactions. It may reveal something about boundaries, unmet expectations, or a clash of values — not necessarily a final verdict on your worth. How you respond can either defuse tension, open a path to repair, or set a boundary that preserves your well‑being. In work, family, or social settings the reaction also shapes group dynamics and your own emotional safety.

Short, Simple Things You Can Say

• “Thanks for being honest.”
• “I hear you.”
• “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
• “I’ll respect that and give you space.”
• “If you want to tell me why, I’m willing to listen later.”
• “Okay — I’ll step back.”

Longer Messages With More Warmth

• “I’m glad you told me. That mustn’t have been easy — if you want to share what led to that, I’ll listen without getting defensive.”
• “I’m sorry if something I did caused that feeling. I care about how we get along and am open to making changes where I can.”
• “I don’t want to make this worse. I respect your feelings, and I’ll keep things professional/civil while we both get some space.”
• “This is hard to hear, but I appreciate your honesty. If you ever want to talk through what happened, I want to understand.”

What to Avoid Saying

• Don’t get defensive or attack back (for example: “Well, you’re the problem!”).
• Don’t try to immediately persuade or beg (“Please don’t feel that way — you’ll like me if you just…” ).
• Avoid dismissing their feelings (“That’s ridiculous,” or “You’re overreacting.”).
• Don’t make it about validation from others (“Everyone else likes me, so you’re wrong.”).
• Avoid pressuring them to explain in a public or charged moment.

Helpful Tips for Handling the Moment

• Pause and breathe before answering; a brief silence keeps you from reacting impulsively.
• Consider the context: at work, keep it professional; in close relationships, plan for a calm follow‑up.
• If you’re unsure whether safety is a concern, prioritize clear boundaries and, if needed, remove yourself from the situation.
• If you want clarity, ask to talk later rather than digging for reasons in the heat of the moment.
• Reflect afterward — journal or talk with a trusted friend to process feelings without escalating the situation.
• Remember you can accept their feeling without accepting mistreatment; setting boundaries is allowed.

A Note About This Particular Situation

Whether the comment comes from a coworker, a friend, or someone you’re romantically interested in changes what’s appropriate: at work, document interactions and keep responses neutral; with friends or family, you might choose a private conversation later. Also note power dynamics — critiquing a manager or someone who holds influence may require a different approach focused on safety and professionalism. Ultimately, you don’t have to fix their opinion on the spot; you only need to protect your dignity and respond in a way that aligns with your values.

Let us know in the comments if this has helped or if you’ve got suggestions we can include

About the Author 

Helen Bach is a relationship expert and writer who helps people find the right words when it matters most. She studied English and English Literature at the University of Michigan, where she developed a passion for how language shapes love, conflict, and connection.

At whattosaywhen.net, Helen writes clear, down-to-earth advice on what to say in real-life situations—from first dates and tough conversations to breakups and makeups. Her goal is simple: to make talking about feelings less awkward and a lot more honest.