When someone tells you they ‘give up,’ you may feel unsure, anxious, or rushed to fix the situation. That uncertainty comes from not knowing whether they mean temporary frustration, burnout, relationship collapse, or something more serious. You worry about saying the wrong thing and making it worse.

Simple wording helps because it reduces pressure on both of you. Clear, calm phrases let the other person feel heard without turning the conversation into a lecture or a quick solution session.

This article gives practical, ready-to-use phrases and brief explanations for different tones. It also outlines what to avoid, how to check for immediate danger, and tips for staying supportive without overstepping.

Why This Moment Matters

When someone says they give up, they are often communicating more than defeat about a task — they may be signaling exhaustion, shame, loneliness, or hopelessness. Your response can either open a space for honest talk or push them further inward.

People who feel like quitting may also be at higher risk of withdrawing from relationships or self-care. A calm, validating response can reduce immediate distress, help clarify needs, and create an opportunity for practical next steps or professional help if required.

You don’t have to solve everything. What matters is creating safety, showing you care, and helping the person move from a state of crisis or paralysis toward a manageable next step.

Useful Things to Say

Simple Responses

“I’m here.”
A short, direct reassurance that you are present and available without making promises you can’t keep.

“I hear you.”
Acknowledges their statement and signals that you’re listening rather than judging.

“That sounds really hard.”
Validates the difficulty without minimizing or immediately offering solutions.

“Thanks for telling me.”
Recognizes the effort it takes to speak up and encourages more openness.

Supportive Responses

“Do you want to talk about what’s making you feel this way?”
Invites them to share details if they’re able, giving you a clearer idea of what they need.

“Would it help if we split this into smaller steps?”
Offers a practical approach to reduce overwhelm by making the problem feel more manageable.

“Can I help with anything right now?”
A concrete offer lets them pick something small you can do, from making a call to getting a cup of tea.

“Let’s make one small plan together.”
Focuses on an immediate, achievable action that can restore a sense of control.

Empathetic Responses

“I can’t know exactly how you feel, but I’m with you.”
Expresses compassion without claiming to fully understand their internal experience.

“It makes sense you’d feel worn out after all that.”
Connects their emotion to circumstances in a validating, nonjudgmental way.

“You don’t have to get through this alone.”
Reminds them they have support and reduces isolation without minimizing feelings.

“It’s okay to feel discouraged — that doesn’t mean you’re weak.”
Counters shame and normalizes the emotional response while preserving respect.

Light, Warm Responses

Use gentle warmth when the person seems open to it; avoid this if they seem distant or intensely upset.

“Want to sit together for a bit?”
A calm offer of company that can be more comforting than talk.

“We’ll take it one step at a time — I’ll stay with you on the first one.”
Combines warmth with practical help and signals you won’t abandon them immediately.

“Let’s do something small that feels doable right now.”
A soft pivot toward action that can lift mood without pressure.

What Not to Say

• “Snap out of it.” — Dismissive language can increase shame and shut down conversation.
• “Other people have it worse.” — Comparing pain invalidates their feelings and isolates them.
• “Just think positive.” — Minimizes legitimate struggles and ignores practical barriers.
• “You’re overreacting.” — Labels their response as wrong and can escalate defensiveness.
• “If you quit now, you’ll regret it.” — Threatening future consequences creates fear, not support.
• “I don’t have time for this.” — Communicates abandonment at a vulnerable moment.

Helpful Tips for Handling the Moment

• Speak calmly and slowly; your tone matters more than perfect words.
• Pause and listen more than you talk; reflections like “You feel…” help them feel understood.
• Maintain open body language: face them, uncross arms, and avoid looking distracted.
• Respect boundaries; if they don’t want to talk, offer to check back later and follow through.
• If you notice signs of self-harm or talk of suicide, ask directly and without judgment: “Are you thinking about hurting yourself?” and, if yes, stay with them and seek immediate help.
• Offer concrete, short-term help rather than vague promises; practical gestures (a call, a task) are often more useful than reassurance alone.
• Know local resources and emergency contacts so you can suggest or make a referral when appropriate.

Final Thought

You don’t need a perfect line to help someone who says they give up. Being present, listening with empathy, and offering one manageable next step are more useful than big solutions. Your sincerity matters more than your phrasing, and small, steady support can make a meaningful difference.

Let us know in the comments if this has helped or if you’ve got suggestions we can include

About the Author

Helen Bach is a relationship expert and writer who helps people find the right words when it matters most. She studied English and English Literature at the University of Michigan, where she developed a passion for how language shapes love, conflict, and connection.

At whattosaywhen.net, Helen writes clear, down-to-earth advice on what to say in real-life situations—from first dates and tough conversations to breakups and makeups. Her goal is simple: to make talking about feelings less awkward and a lot more honest.