People often freeze when someone calls them awkward because it can feel like an attack on who you are rather than on a single moment. When someone calls you awkward, a few steady words—either curious, firm, or gentle—can protect your calm and shape the rest of the conversation.

Why This Moment Matters

Being labeled “awkward” lands on the small, everyday stage where we test how we belong. It can influence how you view future interactions, make you self-conscious, or signal that the speaker is uncomfortable as well. How you respond sets the tone: you can defuse tension, seek clarity, or protect your boundaries. This moment also reveals something about the relationship — whether the other person is teasing, judging, or trying to connect.

Short, Simple Things You Can Say

• “What makes you say that?”
• “Maybe — I’m still warming up.”
• “That’s how I am; thanks for noticing.”
• “I’m fine with being a little awkward.”
• “I don’t love that label — could you phrase it differently?”
• “Fair — I don’t always read the room.”
• “If that’s awkward to you, tell me what would feel easier.”

Longer Messages With More Warmth

• “I know I come across a bit awkward sometimes; I’m working on being more present in groups, but I also like who I am.”
• “I appreciate your honesty. If you mean that in a teasing way, it’s okay — just don’t make it a put-down in front of others.”
• “Sometimes I’m quiet because I’m thinking, not because I’m nervous. If you want to get to know me, I’m happy to share a little more.”
• “That word lands on me more than you might expect. If you’re joking, a gentler tone would help; if you’re serious, tell me what you noticed so I can understand.”
• “I might seem awkward in new situations. I’d rather be real than perform, but I’ll try to meet you halfway.”

What to Avoid Saying

• “Sorry, I’m so awkward” as an automatic apology that reinforces negative self-talk.
• Retaliatory insults like “You’re the awkward one” that escalate conflict.
• Long, defensive explanations that sound like over-justifying every movement.
• Ignoring your feelings and laughing it off if you’re hurt — that can teach people not to take your boundaries seriously.
• Assuming the comment was intentionally mean without asking — but also don’t excuse clear meanness.

Helpful Tips for Handling the Moment

• Pause and breathe before answering; a calm response keeps you in control.
• Ask a clarifying question: tone, context, and intent matter.
• Match your response to the relationship — playful banter with friends, firmer boundaries with strangers or coworkers.
• Use short, rehearsed lines you’re comfortable with so you don’t scramble under pressure.
• Pay attention to body language: standing tall and steady communicates confidence.
• If it feels like bullying, remove yourself and, if needed, address it later or with support.

A Note About This Particular Situation

Whether you’re called awkward jokingly or with malice depends a lot on who says it and where. Close friends may be teasing in a way that’s harmless to the relationship; supervisors or strangers may be crossing a boundary. You don’t owe an elaborate defense — a calm request for clarification or a simple boundary is often enough.

Let us know in the comments if this has helped or if you’ve got suggestions we can include

About the Author 

Helen Bach is a relationship expert and writer who helps people find the right words when it matters most. She studied English and English Literature at the University of Michigan, where she developed a passion for how language shapes love, conflict, and connection.

At whattosaywhen.net, Helen writes clear, down-to-earth advice on what to say in real-life situations—from first dates and tough conversations to breakups and makeups. Her goal is simple: to make talking about feelings less awkward and a lot more honest.