People often freeze when thinking about what to say when someone texts you randomly — it can feel intrusive, confusing, or unexpectedly intimate. A few steady, simple words let you preserve your boundaries and keep the conversation on your terms without adding emotional weight.

Why This Moment Matters

A random text interrupts your routine and asks you to decide quickly how much time and emotional energy to give. It can signal anything from a harmless hello to an urgent need, and your response sets the tone for what kind of interaction follows. How you reply also communicates your boundaries and can prevent misunderstandings later.

Short, Simple Things You Can Say

• ‘Hi — who is this?’
• ‘Hey! I’m a bit tied up right now. Can I get back to you later?’
• ‘Nice to hear from you. What’s up?’
• ‘Sorry—wrong number?’
• ‘I don’t have time to chat at the moment. Can we talk tomorrow?’
• ‘If this is about [topic], I can handle it later. Tell me briefly?’

Longer Messages With More Warmth

• ‘Hi — it’s been a while. Great to hear from you. How have you been?’
• ‘Thanks for reaching out. I’m a little busy this evening but would like to catch up — can we set a time?’
• ‘I appreciate you texting me. I’m not up for a long conversation right now, but I hope everything’s okay with you.’
• ‘Hey, I noticed your message came out of the blue. Is everything alright? I’m here if you need to talk.’
• ‘Hello — I might have missed some context. Can you remind me how we know each other or what this is about?’

What to Avoid Saying

• Don’t reply with sarcasm or aggression; that can escalate a neutral moment into conflict.
• Avoid oversharing personal details if the number or sender is unknown.
• Don’t assume the worst (e.g., accusing someone of texting to start drama) before you know their intent.
• Avoid immediately turning the text into a confrontation about past issues, especially if it might be a misunderstanding.
• Don’t feel pressured to invent a reason to keep chatting if you genuinely don’t want to.

Helpful Tips for Handling the Moment

• Pause and check the number or message context (group chat, unknown area code) before answering.
• If you’re unsure who it is, a polite “Who is this?” is perfectly acceptable.
• Use short, neutral replies when you want to keep distance; use warmer language if the sender is a friend.
• If safety feels uncertain (threatening or persistent messages), document and block as needed — prioritize your well-being.
• Keep a few go-to replies saved for moments you’re interrupted and want a quick, composed response.

A Note About This Particular Situation

Random texts can come from many places: a friend who lost your number, a former partner, a stranger, or someone in crisis — treat each possibility with appropriate caution. Time of day, the exact wording of the message, and your history with the sender should guide how direct or gentle you are in your reply.

Let us know in the comments if this has helped or if you’ve got suggestions we can include

About the Author

Helen Bach is a relationship expert and writer who helps people find the right words when it matters most. She studied English and English Literature at the University of Michigan, where she developed a passion for how language shapes love, conflict, and connection.

At whattosaywhen.net, Helen writes clear, down-to-earth advice on what to say in real-life situations—from first dates and tough conversations to breakups and makeups. Her goal is simple: to make talking about feelings less awkward and a lot more honest.