It can be hard to know how to respond when someone says they’re burnt out — you might worry about saying the wrong thing or trying to solve it for them. Simple, steady language that validates their experience and offers concrete support usually helps more than quick fixes or platitudes.

Why This Moment Matters

Hearing “I’m burnt out” is often the first time someone admits they’ve been stretched too thin; it’s a request to be seen rather than judged. How you respond will influence whether they feel safe to rest, ask for help, or seek professional support. A calm, non‑reactive reply can reduce shame and open space for practical steps that actually lighten their load.

Short, Simple Things You Can Say

• “Thank you for telling me — that sounds really hard.”
• “I’m sorry you’re dealing with that.”
• “Do you want to talk about what’s making you feel this way?”
• “You don’t have to explain everything right now.”
• “Is there one small thing I can do to help this week?”
• “I believe you — burnout is real.”

Longer Messages With More Warmth

• “I can see how exhausted you are. I’m here to listen and to help with anything practical — whether that’s covering a task, bringing a meal, or just sitting with you quietly.”
• “You’ve been carrying a lot for a long time. If you want, we can look at what’s nonessential right now and make a plan to reduce it together.”
• “I may not fully understand what you’re going through, but I want to support you without pressuring you. Tell me what would feel most helpful: advice, a sounding board, or help taking something off your plate.”
• “If you’re open to it, let’s schedule a time to check in regularly so you don’t have to manage this alone. Small, consistent support can make a big difference.”

What to Avoid Saying

• “Everyone gets tired — you just need to push through.” (minimizes their experience)
• “Maybe you just need to manage your time better.” (blames rather than supports)
• “At least it’s not as bad as…” (compares and invalidates)
• “You should try [quick fix]” without asking if they want advice
• Pressuring them to make immediate big changes (“Quit your job!”) before they’re ready

Helpful Tips for Handling the Moment

• Ask permission before offering advice: “Would you like suggestions, or would you prefer I just listen?”
• Offer specific, concrete help: “I can take X off your plate this week” is more useful than “Let me know if you need anything.”
• Respect boundaries — if they need space or don’t want to talk, let them set the pace.
• Watch for signs of deeper depression or burnout that affects safety (sleep, appetite, thoughts of hopelessness) and encourage professional help if needed.
• Follow up later; checking in shows you care beyond the initial moment.
• Keep confidentiality unless there’s an immediate risk to their safety, in which case seek appropriate professional help.

A Note About This Particular Situation

Burnout often reflects long-term workplace or caregiving pressures rather than a personal failing, so avoid framing it as a character flaw. If the person is a coworker, be mindful of professional boundaries and the limits of what you can change; consider helping them identify safe options like talking to HR, adjusting deadlines, or medical support. If they’re a friend or partner, small, reliable gestures and regular check‑ins usually mean more than one-off advice.

Let us know in the comments if this has helped or if you’ve got suggestions we can include

About the Author 

Helen Bach is a relationship expert and writer who helps people find the right words when it matters most. She studied English and English Literature at the University of Michigan, where she developed a passion for how language shapes love, conflict, and connection.

At whattosaywhen.net, Helen writes clear, down-to-earth advice on what to say in real-life situations—from first dates and tough conversations to breakups and makeups. Her goal is simple: to make talking about feelings less awkward and a lot more honest.