When someone tells you they’re drained, it can be hard to know whether to jump in with solutions, give space, or just listen. People often freeze because they don’t want to make things worse — a simple, steady response can be the most helpful. Below are concrete things to say and do that acknowledge the person’s exhaustion without adding pressure.

Why This Moment Matters

Saying “I’m drained” is a small act of vulnerability: it signals the person is near or beyond their emotional or physical limit. How you respond can either relieve them a little or leave them feeling dismissed. This moment matters because it can deepen trust, clarify needs, and prevent burnout or escalation if handled with care.

Short, Simple Things You Can Say

• “I’m sorry — that sounds really exhausting.”
• “Do you want to tell me what’s been wearing you down?”
• “I’m here. Do you want company or some space?”
• “Would it help if I handled [specific task] for you?”
• “Take whatever time you need; I’ve got you.”
• “I hear you. That sounds like a lot.”

Longer Messages With More Warmth

• “You’ve been carrying so much lately — I’m here to listen or help without judgment. Tell me what would feel least draining right now.”
• “That sounds overwhelming. If you want, I can take care of dinner/errands this week so you can rest, or we can just sit together quietly — whatever you need.”
• “I’m really glad you told me. I don’t have to fix it all; I just want to know how to be with you through this. Would you prefer talking it out or a low-key distraction?”
• “You’re doing the best you can under tough circumstances. If it would help, I can check in tomorrow and we can figure out one small thing to make today easier.”

What to Avoid Saying

• “You’re being dramatic” or “It’s not that bad” — minimizing their experience.
• “Maybe if you just [solution]…” — premature problem-solving or platitudes.
• “At least…” comparisons that reduce their feelings.
• Pressure to talk: “Tell me everything now” or “Why can’t you just rest?”
• Blaming: suggesting they’re drained because of personal failure or weakness.
• Ignoring the statement or changing the subject quickly, which signals it’s not safe to share.

Helpful Tips for Handling the Moment

• Listen first, reflect back what you hear, and ask one gentle question (e.g., “What’s the hardest part right now?”).
• Offer concrete help (specific tasks, time, or resources) rather than vague “let me know.”
• Respect boundaries: if they ask for space, say you’ll check in later and set a time.
• Avoid fixing unless they ask; sometimes emotional validation and small practical help are best.
• Watch for signs of deeper distress (withdrawal, hopelessness) and encourage professional support if needed.
• Follow up — a brief message the next day shows you care and keeps the connection.

A Note About This Particular Situation

Being “drained” can mean different things for different people — physical exhaustion, emotional burnout, grief, or prolonged stress from caregiving or work. Don’t assume the cause; let the person define it. Small, consistent offers of help and acknowledgement often matter more than one big speech.

Let us know in the comments if this has helped or if you’ve got suggestions we can include

About the Author 

Helen Bach is a relationship expert and writer who helps people find the right words when it matters most. She studied English and English Literature at the University of Michigan, where she developed a passion for how language shapes love, conflict, and connection.

At whattosaywhen.net, Helen writes clear, down-to-earth advice on what to say in real-life situations—from first dates and tough conversations to breakups and makeups. Her goal is simple: to make talking about feelings less awkward and a lot more honest.