A short, one-word ‘hey’ can feel oddly heavy: it’s casual but leaves you to choose the tone and direction. When someone texts you “hey,” the goal is to respond in a way that matches your energy and boundaries — whether you want to reopen a conversation, keep things light, or politely pause the exchange.

Why This Moment Matters

A single “hey” is a low-effort nudge that can mean anything from a quick hello to the start of something more meaningful. How you answer sets the social tone: friendly and open, reserved, or clear about limits. Because the message is vague, your reply also communicates whether you welcome follow-up and how much emotional energy you’re giving.

Short, Simple Things You Can Say

• Hey — how’s your day going?
• Hi! What’s up?
• Hey there — all good?
• Hi — long time, how have you been?
• Hey, I’m a bit tied up right now. Can we talk later?
• Hey — who’s this? (if you don’t recognize the number)

Longer Messages With More Warmth

• Hey — great to hear from you. I’ve been thinking about you; how have you been lately?
• Hi! That made me smile. I’m juggling a few things at the moment, but I’d love to catch up tonight if you’re free.
• Hey — I’m glad you reached out. Is everything okay, or were you just saying hi?
• Hi — thanks for checking in. I’m doing well, just busy with work. How are things on your end?
• Hey — nice to hear from you. I’m not up for a long chat right now, but I can call this weekend if that works.

What to Avoid Saying

• Don’t reply with only a single-word or curt response like “k” if you don’t want to shut someone down rudely.
• Avoid making immediate assumptions about their motives (romantic, apologetic, urgent) — that can lead to an overreaction.
• Don’t overshare personal issues right away if you don’t know their intent or emotional bandwidth.
• Avoid responding with sarcasm or passive-aggression; a one-word text can be misread, so sharp replies escalate easily.
• Don’t ignore context (time, previous relationship, who sent it) — it can make your reply feel tone-deaf.

Helpful Tips for Handling the Moment

• Match the tone to your relationship: casual for acquaintances, warmer for friends, clearer boundaries for exes or coworkers.
• Use an open question if you want to encourage conversation (“What’s up?”), or a brief boundary if you don’t (“I’m out — can we talk later?”).
• If the sender is unknown, a polite “Who is this?” is fine — keep it neutral rather than accusatory.
• If you suspect a sensitive topic (apology, bad news), give yourself permission to pause and craft a thoughtful reply later.
• Emojis can help set tone but don’t rely on them to carry important information or emotional nuance.

A Note About This Particular Situation

Because “hey” is so minimal, context matters more than the words themselves — who sent it, when, and what your recent history is. If you’re unsure, choose a neutral, clarifying response that protects your time and feelings while leaving room for the other person to show their intention.

Let us know in the comments if this has helped or if you’ve got suggestions we can include

About the Author

Helen Bach is a relationship expert and writer who helps people find the right words when it matters most. She studied English and English Literature at the University of Michigan, where she developed a passion for how language shapes love, conflict, and connection.

At whattosaywhen.net, Helen writes clear, down-to-earth advice on what to say in real-life situations—from first dates and tough conversations to breakups and makeups. Her goal is simple: to make talking about feelings less awkward and a lot more honest.